Thought
noun
An idea or formation of opinions produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind. This may be due to a philosophy, belief system or others ideas. [1]
An act of considering or remembering someone or something. [1]
An intention, hope, or idea of doing or receiving something. [1]
"An idea, opinion, conclusion, interpretation or judgement of a person, situation or feeling. Thoughts change the chemistry of the mind and body, therefore, like the food you eat, you are also what you think." - Self-Mastery
"As you think, so shall you become." – Bruce Lee
When it comes to eliminating our stress and worries, the key thing to keep in mind is that our emotions, body and mind take instruction from our thoughts. And most of the time, our thoughts do not even belong to us as they are a product of our upbringing, education, external environment and social circle. For instance, the fears and insecurities of our parents and friends became ours, our belief system around money and the opportunities available to us were instilled into us by our immediate social circles and colleagues, and the way we behave with people has been ingrained into us by our fears, cultural and social norms. Isn't it strange how people in one city can behave quite closed off and rude, where people in another city deem it normal to have a conversation with a complete stranger they have never met before?
"Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." – Moosa Rahat
I find it quite astonishing how children, even though they haven't experienced much in their very short lives, automatically say things like "I need a good education in order to get a high paying job so I can buy a house and settle down". How can someone so young, so inexperienced have such a concrete belief about the process or meaning of life?
"When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." - John Lennon
Exercise: Imagine you were zapped with the memory-erasing gun from Men in Black, the movie starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. As a result, your memories of the past, learnt habits, insecurities and sense of identity were also erased. What changes would now occur in your life? Would there be a difference in your tendencies, habits and reactions?
Thought: Breaking The Mental Hierarchy
When you see an ant, what do you think about? Probably nothing right? It's an ant, what is there to think about? But instead of using a thought process or judgment, let's shift towards observation. Did you know that an ant can carry 50 times its body weight, can work together with millions of other ants in sync to build structures, collect material and defend the colony. In addition, they are created and die without causing any waste and use the sun's heat as solar energy to heat the ant colony for their larva. This whole machinery is so intricate that if a person like you or I would invent such a sophisticated machine, all the governments and countries would be after us to get this technology in order to build structures on the moon and beyond. So, if we cannot even fathom the master craftsmanship required to produce this ant, how can we be so sure about our judgements, opinions and interpretations about life, life situations and the future. Especially given that the future is governed by millions of forces that have existed since the dawn of time.
"What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are." – Epictetus
Exercise: Think and write down a predominant thought you have. This could be a complaint, judgement or interpretation about a person, situation or feeling that has played on your mind. Now, reach out for as many facts that counter this thought, conclusion or judgment. In light of these opposing facts, how valid do you feel about your thought, conclusions and judgements now?
“A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens.” – Michel de Montaigne
Marcus Aurelius famously said, "our life is what our thoughts make it". If this is true, shouldn't we always choose positive, constructive and calming thoughts? Well, instead of assuming the negative, why not assume the positive instead? The outcome will not change but our physical health and peace of mind certainly will. But can thoughts really have such a profound impact on the mind, body and emotions? In short, yes! Blood pressure, heart trouble and anxiety (to name a few) certainly stem from worries that are purely a product of thought.
"If money was the answer, so many millionaires wouldnt commit suicide every year."
"The person who masters himself through self-control and discipline is truly undefeatable." – Gautama Buddha
Exercise: Habits are hard to eliminate right out, for instance, people who want to stop smoking are less likely to quit for good if they simply abandon smoking. The way to break a bad habit is to replace it with something positive. It is for that reason nicotine gums and inhalers are much more effective than nicotine patches, as you have replaced smoking with something physical like chewing gum or using an inhaler. Using the same logic, whenever you have a negative thought, instead of stamping it out, replace it with a positive affirmation. For example, rather than thinking "this is a problem", think "this is a puzzle that I will enjoy solving". Or alternatively, replace the thought of "I am no good at this" with "I am not good at this yet". This attitude alone will plant the seeds of growth. [2]
"Investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. It will not only improve your life, it will improve the lives of all those around you. – Robin Sharma
"The best investment you can make, is an investment in yourself... The more you learn, the more you'll earn." – Warren Buffett
So what I am proposing exactly? That we live in the ignorance of bliss, regardless of whatever situation we're in? Definitely not! But what I am saying is, we should always work towards plans that avoid disastrous situations and improve our life conditions but we should never worry. Remember, worry doesn't solve anything, it actually hinders our capacity to creatively think of solutions and maintain the required posture during adversity [3]. Instead, put all of your efforts into solving the puzzles of life while learning from them and having a good time doing so. Remember, all the downs of life are required to build a foundation strong enough to get to the top of whatever we wish to do.
"Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it." – Sai Baba
"I don't have problems... just puzzles I need to solve." – Ranal Currie
Exercise: Napoleon Hill famously said, “Most illness begins with a negative mind.” If you are not operating with healthy thoughts or emotions and your health begins to decline, what are you putting at risk? Who will be negatively impacted? What are you willing to sacrifice your health, peace of mind and happiness for?
"All the suffering within you (mind) was created by you. The mind can make a heaven of hell, or a hell of heaven." – Sadhguru
“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.“ – Charles Horton Cooley
The Harvard Study of Adult Development is perhaps the longest study of adult life that has ever been produced [6]. Since 1938, the lives of 724 men were tracked and metrics such as work, home lives, health and happiness were taken in for analysis. The men that were tracked in the study were from two groups, the first group was from Harvard College and the second group were the poorest boys from Boston's neighbourhoods. These boys were the most disadvantaged, living in poverty. The clearest message from the study was that happy and healthy relationships are the most deterministic factor in keeping us healthier, happier and with a longer lifespan. Loneliness was noted to result in less happiness, poorer health earlier on in life, declining brain function and a shorter lifespan. In addition, it was not the quantity but the quality of the friendships that mattered. Living in conflict or toxic relationships, for instance, were seen as being far worse than getting divorced. Emotional pain multiplies physical pain by a lot, therefore, happier relationships result in joy during pain, but those in toxic relationships felt much worse by a little pain due to the magnification effect.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.” – Robin Williams
"It is not the events but our viewpoint toward events that is the determining factor. We ought to be more concerned about removing wrong thoughts from the mind than removing tumours and abscesses from the body." – Epictetus
"When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity." – John F. Kennedy
Exercise: Our actions and feelings go together, however, our actions are more under our direct control. Decide to start and get moving with constructive actions to better your current situation. When we directly regulate our actions, we indirectly regulate our feelings. Start with small steps, for instance, reading one blog or page of a book, meditating for one minute, taking deep breaths for a minute or calling a friend to discuss your thoughts. That is why simply acting cheerful will make you genuinely feel cheerful, or thinking you have the symptoms of an illness will make you feel you actually have an illness. [4]
In essence, what we may conclude is that regardless of external factors such as money, jobs, prestige, attractiveness or fame, nothing can really bring peace, happiness and joy to our lives but our very selves – outside conditions having very little to do with it. If we find ourselves in high spirits due to some good news or improved conditions, we may start believing that better days have arrived but do not believe it so. Am I saying to not enjoy the beauty and ups of life? Not a chance! But just like when negative situations happen, for instance, an accident, loss of money or encountering a string of failures, do not believe bad days are here either, as the only thing that has become negative is the mental attitude and our reaction towards these events. Remember, events are just instances, not life sentences.
“Act happy, feel happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love, and do what you will." – Dan Millman
Key Takeaway: As we change our thoughts towards people and situations, people and situations will appear differently towards us – things will no longer seem personal and complicated. Les Brown, in his interview with Tom Bilyeu, stated "you do not attract what you want, rather, what you are". When we embark on the inner journey of self-mastery, we free ourselves from our bad habits, toxic environments and people, insecurities, thoughts and ideas that have bestowed a limited identity on us that is purely fictitious. And if changing our lives dramatically, albeit one step at a time only requires us to change our attitude from one of fear to one of a fight, why shouldn't we fight for our happiness? Why shouldn't we fight for our freedoms and passions, and harness our true selves that were muted by the false impressions left on us by circumstances, people and judgements? In short, think thoughts of positivity, and positivity will generate within you. It's easier living a life where we are unseen, pleasing people and avoiding criticism and failures, but it takes real courage to build a life true to ourselves. And it is in the latter where true happiness, purpose and meaning is cultivated – in essence, life taking a whole new meaning,
“Do what is easy and your life will be hard. Do what is hard and your life will become easy.” – Les Brown
“A man can only rise, conquer, and achieve by lifting up his thoughts. He can only remain weak, and abject, and miserable by refusing to lift up his thoughts.” – James Allen, As a Man Thinketh
Below is a list of ten resolutions to make when we awake in the morning to gain some perspective. [5]
“Much of what we call evil can often be converted into a bracing and tonic good by a simple change of the sufferer's inner attitude from one of fear to one of fight.” – William James
References
Google search: Thought
Kwik, Jim (2020). Limitless (I.S.): Hay House. pp. 149 – 167. ISBN 978-1-4019-5823-7.
Cardone, Grant (2011). 10X: Wiley. pp. 1 – 11. ISBN 978-0-470-62760-0
Carnegie, Dale (1953). How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. pp. 136 – 137. ISBN 978-0-74-930723-3
Blog: “Just For Today”: 10 Resolutions to Make Today The Best Day
TEDX: The Harvard Study of Adult Development
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