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Self-Mastery

What Are People Skills And Why Do We Need Them?

Updated: Mar 10, 2022

People Skills

noun [plural]

  1. The ability to communicate effectively with people in a friendly way, especially in business or personal effectiveness skills [1].

  2. In business, it is a connection among people at a humane level to achieve productivity [2].

  3. The ability to effectively communicate, understand and empathise [3].

  4. The ability to interact with others respectfully and develop a productive working relationship to minimise conflict and maximise rapport [3].

  5. The ability to build sincerity and trust; moderate behaviours (less impulsive) and enhanced agreeableness [3].

  6. "The ability to build an informal, friendly, cooperative and trustworthy relationship with people from the get-go." – Self-Mastery


Dealing with people is the biggest gift (or curse) we will ever receive in our lives. It is a well-known fact that employees do not quit companies, they quit horrible bosses. Those who are lucky enough to say they are passionate about their jobs can become depressed by their jobs as soon as their current manager leaves and is replaced with Mr Jerkface.


It is also a well-known fact that trivialities are at the bottom of most marital problems. Moments like being the one who always has to lock the doors, pick up the dog's doo-doo or shut the half-open cupboards in the kitchen after the other half had just been in there may seem trivial, but they drive couples to divorce. The tragic part about all of this? Most couples do not know how to effectively communicate with each other. Heck, most people haven't been taught how to listen properly which implemented, allows the other person to get all their thoughts and feelings in the open which results in them feeling better instantaneously – this is called catharsis.

 

Exercise: How would acquiring the ability to quickly iron out conflicts, build stronger relationships and gain cooperation impact your life? For instance, how would smoother relationships with friends, family and colleagues impact you?


Exercise: If you acquired the ability to make a good impression, lead people, influence them to your way of thinking and alter people's behaviour for the greater good, how would that impact your life?

 

"The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability, than for any other under the sun." - John D. Rockefeller

When it comes to promotions and getting a good job, logic may dictate that this is heavily influenced by one's technical skills, but this is simply not true. Most people are astonished when they are told:


"Even in technical roles such as accountancy, engineering and IT, only 15% of your financial success is a result of your technical expertise and about 85% is a direct result of your skills in human dynamics, your personality and your leadership skills."

The above may be hard to believe but with the right perspective, it makes total sense. Technical skills can be bought for bog-standard salaries; just think of all the coders who are being employed in India by the biggest tech companies worldwide. And with the rise of artificial intelligence, it is predicted that most to all process-driven jobs will be automated by 2030. But an individual who has sufficient technical knowledge, alongside the ability to communicate ideas pleasingly, to lead a team successfully while arousing enthusiasm is heading straight for much higher earning potential.


"I see all these business and mathematics students using all these complicated formulas, but if they just learned how to communicate better their market value will increase by 50%. The best investment is the investment that you make in yourself." - Warren Buffett

 

Exercise: The main problem people and businesses have is not their skills or products, rather, the issue of not being well-known enough. Any artist, athlete, inventor, author, leader or highly successful individual who launched their success did so when breaking through the noise and being seen on radar.


  1. How could making the world realise your value and true potential, resulting in an abundance of opportunities, options and flexibility impact your family life, finances, career, reputation, global network, and overall happiness and peace of mind?

  2. How would you feel if you were connected to a global community which were highly supportive, helpful, powerfully connected and influential? What changes could take place in your life? What opportunities could you create for yourself if you had the world at your fingertips?

“No one fails alone and no one succeeds alone.” — Eric Thomas
 

Question: Whatever you have accomplished in your life, whether it be going to college or university, starting a business, getting a job or going on a trip abroad, was it a purely solo effort that you achieved these things or were you able to do these things because someone allowed you to?


Let's have a think about this. What if your university decided to not accept your application, would you have been allowed to attend regardless of your previous performance or grades? What about the job you have? Was it really all you or were you allowed to get that job as a result of someone in that organisation signing your name on a piece of paper and allowing you to be hired? What about your most recent holiday, would it have been possible for you to fly if the airport security or staff disallowed you to? You could have boarded a plane but you would have broken dozens of laws in the process that may have resulted in you being imprisoned for a very long time. Even a prison sentence is fully dependent on someone making a decision that dictates your future. All in all, regardless of what you think you have achieved on your own, the fact is you were allowed to achieve these things because someone allowed you to, otherwise it would have been impossible to do so otherwise. This is how important people skills are, they can make or break your present, and therefore the future.

 

Exercise: How many instances can you think of where you achieved something that could have been prevented by the person that allowed you to achieve it? For instance, would the lives of Jay-Z and Kanye West be different if Roc-A-Fella records did not sign them and no one else did? Could Christiano Ronaldo have achieved what he has if no team had signed him? Would your life be different if someone decided to wrongfully imprison you by singing a sheet of paper? Who knows, but it is clear that if we are to achieve as greatly as we are, we need to convince people to allow us to get there.

 

"Education is the ability to meet life's situations." - Dr John G. Hibben
"The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." - Herbert Spencer

All throughout our lives we have been regarding education as the level of schooling we have obtained. Don't get me wrong, the education we received in school, college and universities are of high value as they steered us towards having the ability to learn and perform technical tasks, in addition to acquiring our first graduate roles. But no one ever expressed the importance of having great people skills, when it is people we must go through to acquire the jobs, loans, investments, friends and life partners that we want. So this is my mission, to not only bring to you this awareness but practical ways to cultivate a strong foundation of people skills which will be a gift that keeps on giving.


"Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is." – Isaac Asimov


References

 
  1. Definition, Cambridge Dictionary – Link

  2. Forbes, Jacquelyn Smith. The 20 People Skills You Need To Succeed At Work – Link

  3. The Business Journals, Harriet Rifkin. Invest in people skills to boost bottom line – Link

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