The Past
adjective
Gone by in time and no longer existing. [1]
The time before the moment of speaking or writing. [1]
"An event that belongs to the dead yesterdays that no longer exist or have any influence on you today. A past event was simply an event in the past, in that particular moment – not a life sentence." - Self-Mastery
In the second definition of the past, we learn that the past is the time before our current activity. In our case, this is the time before we read each word on this page. Question: While writing on a piece of paper, if you make a mistake, do you spend your days and nights dwelling on how you misspelt a word? Or that the paper will never look the same as it did before you wrote on it? I expect not. Well, it is no more ridiculous or nonsensical to be dwelling on any event that has been and gone in the past. And yet, millions of people have suffered from poor mental and physical health by doing just that. By holding on to long time cherished resentments, fears and feelings from the past that have turned their days and nights into a hellish existence.
Dale Carnegie explains this beautifully by using the analogy of sawing sawdust [2]. Why would you saw sawdust? It has already been sawed and nothing new will come of it. Yet, when people sit and dwell on the past, they are simply sawing sawdust. What a pointless exercise in futility indeed! And yet, most of us are guilty of it – even on a daily basis.
"When you are worrying about things that are over and done with, you're merely trying to saw sawdust." – Dale Carnegie
There have been many proverbs since the beginning of human history that attempt to teach us not to dwell on the past. Some of these include: "Don't cry over split milk", "Don't cross your bridges until you come to them", "Water under the bridge", and "Let bygones be bygones". Although these sayings are true and we should always keep them in mind, they do not help when we spiral down the slippery slope of unease when dwelling on the past. So what is the solution? Well, here it is in four words, "profit from your losses". Or in other words, "when life gives you lemons, make a lemonade". This is the best way to use the past before wiping it cleanly off our minds.
“The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.” ― William Bolitho
The only thing required is a change of perspective and attitude – to go from fear to fight! If we're ever in a situation that overwhelms us and we fall victim to it, let's remember these wise words.
"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." – Wayne Dyer
“Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw the stars.” — Dale Carnegie
It is crucial to remind ourselves that in life, good things do not come easy. And in all fairness, who has ever found true happiness and joy from living a life that is problem-free and smooth? The games we enjoy playing or the problems we enjoy solving are usually the ones that are most challenging. So why would life be more enjoyable if it was easy and trouble-free? Since the dawn of time, there have been a minority of people that have discovered the happiness and joys of life by using the past constructively and turning their negatives of the past into the positives of tomorrow, today! And if they have achieved this with a simple change in attitude, so can I, so can you, and so can Mr and Mrs Grouch.
"It is the great north wind that made the Vikings." -Norweigen Proverb
If we are ever feeling discouraged, or think our situation is bleak, it is useful to remember that there are only two outcomes that can occur at the mere attempt at turning our negative into a positive: we will either succeed or succeed. Let me explain ...
Scenario 1: If we have succeeded, well done! Onwards and upwards! We must remember to take the lessons we've learnt onto our next venture!
Scenario 2: Our plan has not come to complete fruition. Although this may seem like a pitiable situation, a lot of positives have come out of it. For instance, instead of running ourselves ragged with worry and hopelessness, we got busy and engaged. As a result, due to all of the new things we've learnt along the way, and the mental and emotional conditioning we've gained, this experience has made us stronger and taught us lessons for the future. This is a fundamental building block for future growth and an essential attitude when acquiring lifelong skills for our next venture. And as this mindset of converting our minus into a plus is rare, we have walked a path that only a few were lucky enough to even discover.
"I didn't fail 1000 times. The lightbulb was an invention with 1000 steps." – Thomas Edison
"Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." – John Wooden
I couldn't agree more with Mr John Wooden, and here's why:
Stan Smith, a tennis star who won Wimbledon, the US Open and 7 Davis Cups over the course of his career was rejected earlier on for the position of a ball boy as he was deemed too clumsy and uncoordinated to handle a ball. Not bad for someone who now has a line of Adidas trainers in his honour. [3]
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." – Michael Jordan
Babe Ruth held the record for the most home runs ever hit – 714 home runs to be exact. However, for nearly a decade he held the record for the most number of strikeouts; he was actually struck out over 1,300 times. [3]
"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way. Every strikeout brings me that much closer to a home run." - Babe Ruth
Oprah Winfrey was born into working-class poverty and saw her newborn son die shortly after giving birth when she was only 14 years old. If this wasn't enough, she was fired from her first job as a journalist as she was declared unfit for television. She is now world-renowned and worth over $2.6 billion. [4]
Exercise: Make it a rule to never complain about anything. Only think of the past when seeking a solution or a learning curve that is to be implemented to better the situation at hand. Simply complaining or falling victim to the past is no longer an option! Analyse the past holistically and extract all the lessons you can. Then use them by implementing changes to your life.
This can be implemented by answering the following questions:
Write down all the times that life handed you a negative (or lemon).
What are the lessons that you can learn from this? What was life trying to teach you?
What's the worst that can happen now?
Accept the worst that can now happen.
How can you use the past lessons to convert that minus into a plus? How can you use the past as fuel for change and action, or in other words, profit from your losses? How can you get this lemon and make a lemonade?
Get busy! Take action and don't look back.
Enjoy the happiness of being victorious in successfully using the past constructively. Be proud of turning this minus into a plus!
“The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you’ve come.” - Bangtan Boys, Butterfly
"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." – Johnny Cash
Takeaway: Take whatever blows life gives you on the chin and move forward with your step spirited and head held high. Remember, the human spirit is the strongest substance in the universe. There are countless highly successful people like Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Stan Smith, Walt Disney, Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling, Bill Gates and Colonel Sanders who preach about failure being the prerequisite for success, and that taking hits was standard procedure for anyone who wishes to get to the top. And if the greats can fail, take hits and move forward winning big, so can you and I. Perhaps that's what makes them great to begin with. Perhaps we will not have the failures or go through anything near as tragic as some of the most successful in the world have. Perhaps our past is somewhat full of far fewer failures, who knows? But the past is dead, and should only be used when moving forward.
"You can't dwell on disappointment. You've got to take the positives and keep looking ahead." – AJ Tracey
Remember, if the most successful can go from failure to failure and harness them as learning curves to make it big, I reckon we'll be just fine.
"Great lords, wise men ne'er sit and wail their loss, But cheerily seek how to redress their harms." – William Shakespear
"The darkest moments of our lives are not to be buried and forgotten, rather they are a memory to be called upon for inspiration to remind us of the unrelenting human spirit and our capacity to overcome the intolerable." – Vince Lombardi
References
Google Search - Past.
Dale Carnegie (1948). How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. pp. 117-122. ISBN 978-0-74-930723-3.
Blog: 4 Inspiring sportspersons who failed big time before becoming superstars
Commentaires