Responsibility
noun
When you hear the word "responsibility", what immediately comes to mind? Do the words blame, duty or accountability occupy your mind? It is for this reason that responsibility is a very misunderstood term. In short, responsibility is usually thought of as the concretised designation of tasks to a particular person or group. With this meaning of responsibility, who would want any? I sure wouldn't, as it leaves me in a vulnerable position, with a lack of freedom for myself.
However, this is not what responsibility means. Responsibility is made of two words, they are response and ability. Therefore, responsibility is actually the ability to respond. But what is the difference I hear you say? Well, let's look at a few examples.
Question: are you responsible for the moon? Crazy right, how can either of us be responsible for the moon?! However, if I were to ask, are you able to respond to the moon? You may still think you are not but in reality, you do respond to the moon, but this response has so far been unconscious. The moon impacts the oceans, and as our body is also 70% water, our body is also impacted by the change in the moon's positioning. This process has been going on since the beginning of time, but we have simply been unaware of this.
Question: are you responsible for the solar system? Do you believe in astrology and destiny? If so, astrology states that the movement of planetary positions is reflected by influencing your affairs and surrounding conditions. So in essence, you do respond to the solar system, you actually respond to the solar system 24/7.
Question: are you responsible for the whole universe and cosmos? Of all the friends, relatives and colleagues that I have ever known, not many have a religious outlook on life. However, most of them speak about the forces of nature and the universe. This suggests you are also responsible for the whole cosmos, as a change in forces of the universe will reflect in a change of life situations for yourself.
Interesting isn't it, being responsible for this entire existence and on top of that, we have been responding without even knowing. All of this is great but what point am I trying to make, and how does this help you? A totally fair question, and here's how this can be the most pivotal truth in your life.
We sometimes fall victim to life's challenges and circumstances by feeling powerless and therefore take no action. This could be due to fear, or not being able to see a way out of our current predicament. However, we do not get trapped by the situation we have been placed in, rather, we suffer the consequences of the compulsive cycle we have trapped ourselves in. The ability to respond with intelligence, competence and sensitivity is usually compromised by a compulsive or reactive approach; this results in the individual being enslaved by the situation.
"Conscious responsibility is freedom, unconscious reactivity is slavery." - Sadhguru
The message here is that we are all infinitely responsible for everything in the universe. This is because we are either consciously or unconsciously responding to everything around us. It is imperative to understand that every action we take is a choice, and at any given moment in time, there are an infinite amount of choices that can be made.
Take this plastic container that has washed up on the beach for instance. Are you responsible for this? Yes, you are! You are responsible because you have the ability to respond. Whether you decide to look at the container and walk away, that was your response. Whether you decide to kick it about like a football and then bury it in the sand, that was your response. Whether you were distracted by your phone while walking past and were unaware of the container being there, that was your response. And if you decide to pick it up and dispose of it properly, that was also a response. The fact of the matter is, no matter what action you take, that was simply your response. And there are an infinite number of ways you can respond as there are an infinite number of choices you can make.
Let's say you switch on your TV and turn to a news channel. You observe a war being reported in a country that you have never of, are you responsible? Yes, you are! Whether you have concern in your heart, that is your response. Whether you ignored the news and started watching your favourite show on Netflix, that was your response. Whether you post something on social media to bring awareness of this event, start a movement that leads to the UN intermediating in the situation that results in the conflict being resolved, this was your response. Either way, an infinite number of choices are available to you.
When Greta Thunberg was first exposed to a film in school that highlighted the consequences of global warming, she went into a state of deep depression and did not eat for 5 days. That was simply her response to the severity of the issue of climate change, which resulted in her becoming a world-known figure in the fight for climate change. Are the consequences of global warming less for you or me? No, of course not. She simply responded differently. Does she possess some magical, esoteric or godlike qualities that got her to where she is? Again, no. We are all aware of climate change, but we have all responded differently. We all have the same ability to respond, but most of us think, "Is this not someone else's responsibility?". From reading this blog, we can no longer think of anything being someone else's responsibility, as we all have the ability to respond. And if we can respond to the entire cosmos, I am sure any situation you and I ever get into can be responded to appropriately. No more thinking of ourselves as a victim or passive pawns in our short journey of life.
To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. – Eckhart Tolle
Exercise: The more conscious we are of our ability to respond, the more our internal genius will start to flower. The only thing required is the willingness to wholeheartedly seek solutions to the puzzles life throws at us.
If you could successfully eliminate any problems you are encountering in your life, which problems would you like to overcome? Make a list.
How have you responded to your problems in the past?
Knowing that you always have an infinite amount of choices you can make, how can you respond to your problems differently? Make a list of all the alternative solutions to your problems. You do not need to have all the answers now, just know the direction you wish to head down.
“A podium and a prison is each a place, one high and the other low, but in either place your freedom of choice can be maintained if you so wish.” —Epictetus, Discourses, 2.6.25
"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own..." – Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4-5
Exercise: In the above, what Epictetus is telling us is that we must clearly differentiate between what is under our control and what is not. For instance, if your train is cancelled due to poor weather, no amount of hair-pulling or panic will change that fact. However, it is up to you to either focus on being victimised by the train being cancelled or to see this as a puzzle and devote all your time and attention to seeking an alternative way. This way of thinking can be extended to the direst situations imaginable, as, regardless of where you go, the one thing that is always 100% under your control is your ability to make choices.
Whenever you feel helpless or stuck in a situation, clearly write down what the problem is.
Write down the worst-case scenario.
Accept the worst-case scenario.
Draw out the below table and fill it out. Devote the rest of your time to this analysis and seek out ways you can make things better.
Things that are under my control | Things that are not under my control |
Here is where you spend 100% of your time, energy and focus. The more your write down, the more momentum you will generate with more solutions revealing themselves to you. | Here is where you acknowledge the problem, event or situation at hand. However, no time, thought or energy should be expelled here. |
If you assume total responsibility within yourself, you will become active and be the centre of attention in all situations. Since you will be proactive in seeking solutions, instead of simply pointing out problems, you will become indispensable, resulting in no insecurities or incompleteness within you. You will not only become calmer in adverse situations, but you will thrive off adversity as it will be your time to shine – you may even see any crisis situation as an opportunity. This mindset will make you limitless as nothing can now stop you.
"A simple change in mental attitude from one of fear to one of fight is all that is needed to conquer any situation. If we remember to see every problem as a puzzle, an obstacle becomes a challenge. Even an unnerving situation can become exciting." – Self-mastery
If we keep our infinite ability to respond at the forefront of our minds, our memories will become an empowering process. Many a time we look back at our faults and foolishness in despair. However, all is not lost as we are responsible, even for the things that have been and gone. How you may ask? No matter what has happened, you can always extract lessons that were contained within each uncomfortable event, and convert your lemons into lemonade. This will make your memories an empowering process, as every situation is an opportunity to grow.
“The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.” – William Bolitho
"If terrible things have happened to you, you ought to have grown wise. If the worst possible events have befallen you, you should be the wisest of the lot. But instead of growing wise, most people become wounded." – Sadhguru: Inner Engineering
Exercise: Think of a situation you have been in where the outcome was undesirable. For instance, a test you failed, a time where you acted inappropriately or when someone mistreated you. Or in other words, a time when life handed you a lemon.
Write down what happened exactly.
Remove anything that is not a concrete fact. For instance, any judgements, opinions or guesses.
Write down all the golden learning curves and lessons that were contained within this experience.
If a similar situation was to occur again, what changes would you make next time?
Do you feel better about what happened?
Being responsible means taking full ownership. If you manage a team at work and your subordinates are playing the blame game, just remind them that they are not helpless victims of a situation, rather, this is how they have decided to respond. They could have equally decided to respond positively, by being proactive, communicating better or seeking assistance. Whether they decide to resolve the issue, pass the issue onto someone else or simply ignore the issue, this is the way they have responded.
Exercise:
Before reading this blog, what was your understanding of the word "responsibility", and how has it now changed?
Remind yourself numerous times per day that you are infinitely responsible for everything around you. Never fall into a victim mindset by being bogged down by a problem, rather, see everything like a puzzle.
Takeaway: We are all responding to everything around us all the time. We have the infinite ability to respond, but our ability to act is limited. All it takes is this awareness and the internal move from unwillingness to willingness. And remember, always have a full-blooded response to everything! It is easy to fault find and expect someone else to implement the solution. But we must always keep in mind that we too have the ability to respond. Be the change you wish to see. Lead, and Inspire!
References
Cambridge Dictionary, Search: Responsibility – Link
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