Jay Sharma, an IT support specialist from London shares his experiences of how acceptance took him from hopelessness, anger and frustration to peace, joy and happiness. How can a simple change in mental attitude completely turn someone's life around to positivity, health and calmness? Let's find out! This is the story of how Jay Sharma achieved this with a simple change in his mental attitude from unacceptance to acceptance, in his own words.
I always had a goal to chase growing up. Whether it be getting a quicker 10K time, pushing more weights at the gym or getting a top grade to move onto the next stage of my academic career. I had encountered many ups and downs during my time at school and university but I always managed to pull through and succeed, albeit in the end. But after graduation, I realised it was going to take me years of chopping and changing jobs in order to gain the relevant experiences for the types of jobs I desired.
After a long time of being unemployed post-graduation, I finally got my first job and was excited. Although the job was not interesting in the slightest, I felt fortunate to be there and add work experiences to my CV so I could move jobs sooner than later. But as the months went on, the boredom really hit me and I realised I was not learning relevant skills for the job I really wanted. To make matters worse, the option of an internal move was looking unlikely as there were hundreds of internal applicants just like me but had over a decade of experience. I soon realised that the job I desired was highly competitive, as it was highly paid and rather interesting.
This resulted in me feeling defeated, hopeless about the future, worried, anxious, frustrated, rejected, victimised, lost and bitter. For the next 6 months, my whole demeanour had changed. I was hot-tempered, petty, complained a lot and had lost all hope for the future. Was this all life was cracked up to be? Working long hours all week in a job I would despise? How dark and gloomy! This sorry state would have continued longer, maybe even for years to come until I saw a picture that was being shared online. A picture that taught me more about life than anything else did throughout my whole 4 years in university. This picture was so meaningful, I have included it below [1]:
This picture shows a Russian spy that's about to be executed by a Finnish soldier in Finland in 1942. If you notice, the Russian spy is actually smiling. Smiling – in the face of death! How could one smile when they're moments before being executed in cold blood?!
And then it occurred to me, the Russian spy had accepted his fate. And if someone could smile, be calm and happy in the face of death, why couldn't I be happy and joyful in my situation? If he could accept death, I could certainly accept that I have some work to do and it is my responsibility to find a way out of my predicament. I suddenly felt the dark clouds of negative emotions subsiding, I felt lighter and my chest was lifting. I realised that I had brought all this worry, feeling of despair and hopelessness onto myself. And that human beings since the beginning of time have gone through much worse. So what if I didn't have my ideal job, I am still working, getting paid and gaining skills for the modern-day working world.
I suddenly took to my desk and started researching all the jobs I could do with my academic background and current work experience. I learnt that there were jobs out there that were in demand that I could self-train for. After a few days of research, I had made a plan to do projects by myself and create an online portfolio for myself to showcase to companies in the near future. This would increase my chances of getting the job I wanted substantially.
In the meantime, as I now had a plan of action and was calm, I become polite and productive at work. I started enjoying talking to my colleagues at work and as I now put in more effort into my daily tasks, my managers were also happier with me as I was looking after things better. I was more involved which made my days more interesting. Although this did not bring on any promotion, it didn't matter as I had a plan of action and knew where I was going.
I am happy to say this was a few years ago and I have been in my new role for over a year. It is exactly the type of job I wanted and my skills, interests and passions are now being utilised in this role. I could not be happier! Accepting the situation as it was not only calmed me down but dramatically improved my mental and physical health as I was sleeping better and was happier during the days and weekends. Previously, my Sundays were ruined by the thought of going to work on Monday but after I had accepted it, I was completely neutral and relaxed. It's strange how acceptance can change your life. My new life mantra, although not stylish is:
"It is what it is." - Jay Sharma
Well done Jay, you not only did your mental and physical health a favour by removing negative emotions and thoughts, but you calmed down enough to think creatively and make a plan of how to get out of your situation. Life can back us up into a corner at times but rebelling, hating and fighting the situation has never been a solution. Accepting the situation as it is and then devoting time to improve the situation will always be the best way forward.
Perhaps Jay's story speaks to you? It spoke to me, and as a result, I decided to take a leaf out of Jay's book and make a plan to pursue my own ambitions.
References
[1] The image is from: https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/russian-spy-laughing-execution-finland-1942
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