Have you ever been in a situation where your boss at work is making your job unbearable? Have the selfish actions of others made you feel life is extremely unfair and things seem hopeless? I bet you can think of many a time where situations have angered you extremely, making you seek vengeance. Well, Loren Green, an account of a prestigious financial services institution suddenly found her passionate job not so passionate after her boss left and was replaced with a rather cruel, selfish and miserable individual. However, during her most testing time, she found peace, clarity and strength – using this as an opportunity for growth. How you may ask? Let's hear it from Loren herself; this is her story in her own words.
I loved my job as an accountant at one of the top firms in London, UK. I loved the professionalism, using the skills I learnt at university and the perks the company gave. However, this all changed when my boss left for a higher position elsewhere and was replaced. His replacement was rather selfish, unorganised and miserable. He made life increasingly difficult for me by making me work longer hours most days and for the first time, even my weekends began to be overloaded with work. As my new boss knew little, he even made me do the work he should be doing, all while he left for vacation with his friends.
A few months later, I overheard higher management praising my boss for the excellent management of the team as all the work was getting completed superbly, despite him being new to the company. He would now be promoted for his excellence. I was furious, rebellious and out for vengeance. I couldn't sleep or eat properly, I felt my health and happiness declining. I felt as though all my efforts, weekends and evenings there were sacrificed were all in vain. The more I hated him, the more energy I knew I was using, so I had to do something. I went home that evening and began typing up a detailed letter to burn up higher management and tell them about the terrible conditions I had been working in. I would now create such a bad name for him that they ought to get rid of him and promote me instead.
While typing this letter, I was watching one of my favourite TV shows, Brooklyn Nine-Nine. At this particular moment, Rosa Diaz was explaining to Ray Holt how she took revenge once but it backfired. It backfired because the person she took revenge against managed to come back into her life later on and make her life miserable for ten years. From hearing this, I immediately deleted that letter and started researching how to get rid of this weight of anger, resentment and vengeance. The answer although not easy was simple, I needed to mentally forgive.
It wasn't easy but I managed to forgive him wholeheartedly. I realised we were all products of our environment, experiences and culture. If he behaves like this with good people at work, I can only imagine what he must be like to live with, and I thanked my stars I wasn't married to him. I calmed down immediately. I felt light and for the first time in months, I enjoyed the air I was breathing and the sun that was shining outside. I decided to put on my favourite walking shoes and head out through the canal and onto the hills of my local national park. I noticed I was smiling at strangers and was having conversations with people I had not seen in months. I realised I had given my boss so much power over my mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health. I was not his employee, rather, his slave. Whilst walking a truth began to surface. Although I was in an unfortunate situation, it was possible I may encounter this type of person again. And perhaps it was time I started making money on the side for financial security. After brainstorming I came to the conclusion that I would start teaching accounting and become a consultant for student and staff training. This not only allowed me to reclaim my freedom but I would now focus on something I had a genuine passion for.
Well, this was over three years ago and I am glad to say that I have become a fully independent trainer for accountancy in various parts of the UK. This not only gave me my independence but I now live a life true to my passions and lifestyle. Although my boss back at my old job was nasty to work for, he did teach me something, and I am grateful for that.
Well done Loren, you not only took responsibility for your emotions but you took the lemon life handed to you and successfully made a lemonade. You learnt first hand that holding anger and resentment towards those we do not like gives them power over our mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical health. They continue to do damage to us even when they're sleeping soundly in their bed or taking their dog for a walk. They do this by eliminating our peace of mind and happiness.
"Heat not a furnace for your foe so hot that it do singe yourself." – William Shakespeare
We may not have the courage to love those who have wronged us but let's forgive them and forget them for our own health, wellbeing and happiness. Let's never seek vengeance and take Rosa Diaz's advice, let's never use the past to hurt someone as we may suffer an even graver consequence. Let's forgive and forget.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." – Buddha
I for one learnt a lot from Loren and took a leaf out of her book. Maybe you or someone you know needs to take one too?
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