Olivia Kumar, a language tutor from Birmingham, United Kingdom loves to travel and speak to the world while travelling. She is fluent in English, Hindi, Marathi, Arabic and Spanish with a global network of friends. However, as adventurous as she sounds, Olivia once loathed anything new and disliked being out of her comfort zone. How can one dislike being outside their comfort zone and be an enthusiatic traveller I hear you say? Doesn't travelling, learning languages and tutoring people all over the world require openness and fluidity? Fair questions both, but I'll let Olivia explain. This is her story in her own words, a story about how a simple change in mental attitude can create a brand new life, going from a state of bitterness to one of excitement.
I started an apprenticeship in accounting and finance after leaving school as I was not a fan of higher education due to me not seeing the value in it. Once I qualified, I met my partner Nikhil who I felt an instant connection with and we decided to get married a year later.
After a year of marriage, Nikhil, a very tech-savvy developer for a big corporation told me he had received an opportunity to work in Mumbai for a year, leading the whole region of Asia. Although he did not force the issue, I saw he was excited and we decided to move. To make things better, I received permission to work remotely, therefore keeping my current role so my career would not be impacted either – I would now be working twice a week as part-time.
Once we got to Mumbai, Nikhil loved being there as he always wanted to visit India, the country where his parents were originally from. However, I started to quickly regret this whole idea as I knew no one and it was boring being home all day. To make matters worse, the heat was more than I could bear, I felt like I had no purpose for the majority of the days and the large crowds instilled anxiety within me as I felt disconnected. I did not share these feelings with Nikhil as I did not want to derail his focus but told my parents on the phone, "I'm ready to pack my bags and leave" I said. I could not take this any longer and wanted to have this discussion with him.
However, after explaining this to my parents over the phone, my father decided to send me a message, a message that I kept looking at for hours, a message so wise I could have it painted on the walls of every room of the house. Here is what that message entailed, ill put it in full below:
"Olivia, one small positive thought can change your whole day. You cannot have a positive life with a negative mindset, and with a positive attitude, you will start seeing opportunities instead of problems and obstacles. Why not view this situation as a puzzle that must be solved, or in other words, why not take this lemon and make it a lemonade."
In an instant, I felt all this weight reducing on my shoulders, I felt my chest lifting, I realised I had brought all this misery onto myself. It wasn't the situation that was the problem, it was what I thought of the situation. I shifted my focus onto what was good about my current situation. I realised that I was young, healthy, in a new city and country I never thought I would ever experience, with the food tasting great and being cheap. I felt ashamed of myself, for letting the small things ruin such an experience not many people would have the privilege of experiencing. I instantly made a vow to myself, I would now only think of the positives and make the sweetest lemonade I possible could from this lemon.
I immediately realised that there lived a few girls on the top floor of the block I was living in who seemed to have an American accent. I quickly whipped up a pie and made my way up, luckily they were in and very welcoming. They were too in the same situation as me but they were happy, enthusiastic and energised. They told me about all the exciting activities, social groups and places to visit and when it came to culture, this place was a goldmine.
As time went on, I learnt Hindi and Marathi – the local language and enjoyed practising with the locals. I was thrilled to find the locals were very warm and welcoming, I often got free samples of food and art from the store owners. This allowed me to build a small community and we were all glad to have this circle of positivity in our lives that was highly unlikely back in the UK. As I got to know the city well, I advertised myself online as a tour guide to tourists from English speaking countries like the UK and America. This was a great way of visiting the lovely sites, introducing tourists to the store owners who were now friends and making their experience as rich as possible. Mumbai hadn't changed, but I did!
One of the saddest days I will always remember will be when Nikhil was done with his work and we were to head back to the UK. I am thankful now that I had this change of attitude. I successfully travelled Mumbai and many other parts of India, became nearly fluent in Hindi and Marathi, toured foreigners around Mumbai during the days and made lifelong friends. Time really does fly when you're having fun. I can now honestly say that in life, there are no problems or obstacles, just puzzles to enjoy solving.
Well done Olivia, you successfully changed your whole life experience by a simple change in attitude. You successfully took this lemon and made a sweet lemonade that will keep on giving. Maybe we should all take a leaf out of Olivia's book, I certainly have! This made me think of all the times I got disheartened by the negatives and completely overlooked all the positives, and let's be honest, it's never all bad. We can seek the positives by a simple shift in focus from the 10% of things that may not be up to our desires to bathing in the glory and happiness of the 90% of things that are right.
We are often too busy focusing on the negatives that we totally overlook the flowers that are blooming in our own back gardens and underneath our windowsill. Intention fuels our thoughts and it is our thoughts that dictate our actions, with our actions being the creators of our lives.
"Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” – Lao Tzu
"Our life is what our thoughts make it." – Marcus Aurelius
Comentarios