In a previous blog "A Quick Way to Resolve Your Worry Problems", an easy to implement process was described which usually puts the worriers' mind at ease if sudden thoughts of worry should arise. However, is this the only full-proof method in resolving a worry situation? Of course not, as we must have different tools to solve worry problems of different natures. So how do we learn how to solve worry problems of different natures? Well, this blog will do just that! We will examine another easy to implement process which is more in-depth and works wonders for more complex worry problems.
"There are always three sides to a story. The sides of the two people involved, and the truth."
This process is based on the well known 5 W's and the H. If you are unfamiliar, they are:
Who?
What?
Where?
When?
Why?
How?
The above questions are the building blocks of the five-step process we will discuss in this blog. In essence, we are doing the below:
Collecting the facts.
Analysing the facts.
Writing down all the possible solutions.
Committing to the preferred course of action.
It is well known that a state of worry is a direct result of confusion. If we do not know what is going on, stress and worry are likely outcomes.
"Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision." - Herbert E. Hawkes
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." – Marcus Aurelius
Once you start on a fact-finding mission, you will feel a sense of ease as the problem already feels half solved. For example, we have all been in a situation where we must look for a job or feel anxious about whether we are able to change our current job and find something better suited to our true passions. Instead of being confused and acting on the limited knowledge, in-depth research may reveal more than what one may anticipate. For instance, learning about all the types of jobs that fit in with one's passions, the number of industries and job opportunities that exist, and the future growth of industries will reveal a completely new world to thrive in and conquer. The sheer number of opportunities immediately give many hope and put their minds at ease, as they now have a realistic view of the job market. This further provides confidence when the worrier realises that the number of jobs is set to increases year on year due to industry growth. These were the facts that allowed me to leave my previous job and start studying for a career change as I was no longer confused; I had a direction that was factually based.
"If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evapourate in the light of knowledge." - Herbert E. Hawkes
A key element to fact-finding is to collect facts objectively. This is harder than one initially thinks as we are all prone to leaning towards findings that fit in with our preconceived judgements. If we hear an opinion or see an article that is in agreement with our desires, it will seem true, and anything that does not puts us into a defensive state.
The two-step method for finding facts in an objecting manner
Pretend you are collecting the information for another person. This will eliminate any bias as any emotional investment will be removed.
Pretend you are preparing to debate for the opposing side. In other words, acquire all the facts against yourself or the desired plan. In essence, that aim is to collect all the facts that you do not wish to confront.
“Tranquility can’t be grasped except by those who have reached an unwavering and firm power of judgement-the rest constantly fall and rise in their decisions, wavering in the state of alternately rejecting and accepting things. What is the cause of this back and forth? It’s because nothing is clear and they rely on the most uncertain guide-common opinion.” – Seneca, Moral Letters, 95.57b - 58a
Seneca is correct in pointing out that tranquillity is produced when you have total confidence and belief in yourself to stay on track, regardless of what the situation may currently look like or what other people have to say. Having a foundation that does not allow you to be pushed and pulled every 5 minutes like a mere puppet by the opinions of others, new information or any noise taunting you is clarity at its finest. However, how can one achieve this? Simple! By following the steps given below
The Five-Step Process
Step 1: Write down precisely what you are worried about. As the saying goes, "A problem well stated is a problem half solved".
Step 2: Perform fact analysis, as stated by the two-step method for finding facts in an objective manner.
Step 3: What are the possible actions you can take? These actions must solely be based on the objective facts that were collected during the fact-finding journey in step 2. Take as much time as you can when analysing all the alternative solutions to the problem at hand, analysing the pros and cons of each.
Step 4: Finalise which solution is the best.
Step 5: Decide when the plan should be executed. Once you begin executing the plan, there is no looking back. Take 100% ownership come what may and use any obstacles to fuel your actions going forward.
"When a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome." - William Jones
"Great things should be done without hesitation so that the feeling of danger would not weaken the courage and speed" - Julius Cesar
Are you ready to solve the worrying situation(s) that have been turning your sleepless nights into long and fatiguing days? Are you willing to accept total responsibility for taking action and solving your worry problems? Are you ready to go from victim to leader? From an attitude of fear to one of fight? If so, this is perhaps the most pivotal moment in your life. Let's start by writing down what the exact issue is, then start collecting all the facts. Thereafter, write down all the possible solutions and commit to the one that sounds the best. Ready? Let's go!
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