Acceptance, a ten letter word we've all heard of but rarely think of, and even more rarely practised. But what does it really mean? To make sure we're on the same page, let's see some definitions.
Acceptance
noun
The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.
The process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable.
Agreement with or belief in an idea or explanation.
Willingness to tolerate a difficult situation.
"To pose no resistance to the current situation." - Self-Mastery
"To have no judgements and be willing to perform any duty that the day brings forward wholeheartedly and joyfully." - Self-Mastery
When we are not in a state of acceptance, we are susceptible to experiencing emotions such as anger, rebellion, resentment, victimhood and even anti-social behaviour. This self-torture can keep us stuck as it holds us back from joyfully and creatively thinking of solutions which results in a negative mind frame. It is in these states that we use a great amount of mental and emotional energy, but get nothing done. Our energy is wasted being worried, upset, vengeful and destructive. And it is in these emotional states that we behave foolishly as we have gone from consciousness to unconsciousness as we are acting through emotion.
"To complain is always non-acceptance of what is." - Eckhart Tolle
"Fear is nonacceptance of what is." - Jiddu Krishnamurti
In our lives, we will never have total control over what happens in the external world. The only thing we have control over is how we react. Therefore, it is our reaction that determines our feelings to situations and circumstances, not the situations or circumstances themself. As we live in our heads most of the time, our life is what our thoughts make it. Therefore, the concepts of good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, or useful and useless are completely arbitrary and purely a product of our feelings and emotion. Or in other words, our imagination.
"The kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too." - Jesus Christ
"There is too much talk about heaven and hell because too many people have made a hell out of themselves." - Sadhguru
"Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs." - Morty, Rick and Morty.
King George V had a set of six maxims displayed on the walls of his study at Buckingham Palace, they were: [1]
Teach me to be obedient to the rules of the game.
Teach me to distinguish between sentiment and sentimentality, admiring the one and despising the other.
Teach me neither to proffer nor receive cheap praises.
If I am called upon to suffer let me be like a well-bred beast that goes away to suffer in silence.
Teach me to win, if I may; if I may not, then above all teach me to be a good loser.
Teach me neither to cry for the moon nor over spilt milk.
"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus
So what is the takeaway message from this? To accept everything that comes our way and be powerless? Definitely not! Our livelihoods are based on us taking action and being victorious, as, without it, we would have been extinct long ago as a species. The key lesson here is to always accept the situation as is, and then move forward.
“Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving.” - Albert Einstein
"The only way out is through." - Robert Frost
Otherwise, our self-sabotage and self-torture caused by non-acceptance will result in us being paralysed, and stuck in a futile circle of self-harm and mental enslavement. You can either spend your time, energy and emotions to fight the current situation or use them to create new possibilities. You must choose one, you cannot do both.
There are countless examples of highly successful individuals such as Kevin Hart and Gary Vay who, in their own words say they feel invincible and that they can achieve anything. But how can someone be so certain and confident about the future? And can they truly make anything happen? Although these questions are logical and reasonable, we must recognise that no one can truly know what the future may bring. The forces of nature are always working around us and have been since the beginning of time. However, Kevin Hart and Gary Vay, along with many others can truly make anything happen, and so can we. The secret? Accepting whatever comes your way by adapting and moving forward, one step at a time. Wishing the situation were different is going against the current flow, which breeds negative consequences and eliminates mental resources that should have been utilised for moving you forward.
“If we fail to adapt, we fail to move forward.” - John Wooden
“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months overanalyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.” - Tupac Shakur
Exercise: Throughout the day, regardless of what or whom you encounter, put your hands together and bow down wholeheartedly. Due to the human brain being a machine that ensures our survival, it interprets the world in a generic sense, regardless of the interpretations being based on facts or not. This exercise will help eliminate the false partitions we have made with the world. Once these partitions of good and bad, beautiful and ugly, rich and poor, and worthy and unworthy evapourate, you have released yourself from the chains of our own suffering. Think of it as removing yourself from the self-contained prison you built for yourself, locked yourself in and threw away the key. The suffering is not about the situation itself, is it over the lack of freedom that came with it.
"That which bends, does not break." - Self-Mastery
"Total acceptance releases the heavy chains of any situation that tie us down. With acceptance, comes freedom." - Self-Mastery
"Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery." - Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Next time you are in a situation that disturbs you, accept the situation wholeheartedly. If you are worried about what may potentially happen, accept it as a fact and move forward by working to dampen the negatives and even converting this lemon into lemonade. This simple change in mindset will make you unstoppable, as you will adapt to any situation that life throws at you. If things get too intense, simply sing the following rhyme out loud:
Mother Goose Rhyme
“For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.”
"The wind does not break the tree that bends." - African Proverb
"Learn to accept and bend like the willow. For if you resist, you will break like the oak."
Let's start our day right with the following mantra to get the correct perspective. Remember, anything that has power over you only has that power because you gave it power. Removing that power only requires you to simply make the choice to remove it from the situation. Acceptance is truly the key to our liberation.
Daily mantra: The Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference. [2]
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