In this blog, we will examine a bulletproof way of resolving worry situations. This four-step process is so simple, so effective you will wonder why no one taught you this at school. But can a simple process really abolish worries I hear you say? Well, if I were in your shoes and suddenly came across such literature I would perhaps also be sceptical. And to make matters sound more ludicrous, the four main steps in order to do this will take you less than 60 seconds to understand. Ready? Okay, let's go!
"The bluntest pencil is better than the sharpest mind."
Step 1: Analyse the problem you have found yourself in honestly, holistically and objectively. Venture on a fact-finding mission and write down all the relevant facts in a notebook. During this process ask yourself, "What is the worst that can realistically happen?"
Step 2: Once the worst-case scenario has been clearly evaluated, and you are sure it is found on completely objective facts, accept it wholeheartedly. Even get into the mind frame where you assume the worst has already happened, asking yourself "what should I do next?"
Step 3: Clearly write down what you do have control over and what you do not have control over. In this step simply acknowledge what you don't have control over but spend 100% of your time, energy and effort analysing what you do have control over. Use the below table as a guideline.
Things under my control | Things not under my control |
Here is where you spend 100% of your time, energy and focus. The more you write down, the more momentum you will generate with more solutions revealing themselves to you. | Here is where you acknowledge the problem, event or situation at hand. However, no time, thought or energy should be expelled here. |
Step 4: Going forward, commit all your time and effort to improve the worst-case scenario which you have already accepted mentally. This step is imperative to creating the best-worst-case scenario, which in essence, is the wisest action to take when going through troubling or worrying times.
When we identify the worst-case scenario, we know what we are dealing with. Most of our worries stem from the confusion caused by not knowing how to plan for what may come. However, once we know where we stand, we are able to make a plan of action that will put our minds at ease. Especially as we are now aware of the potential losses that may incur if the event we are worried about takes place.
"Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions. The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others." – Epictetus, Enchiridion, 1.1-2
In the above, what Epictetus is telling us is that we must clearly differentiate between what is under our control and what is not. For instance, if your train is cancelled due to poor weather, no amount of hair-pulling or panic will change that fact. However, it is up to you to either focus on being victimised by the train being cancelled or to see this as a puzzle and devote all your time and attention to seeking an alternative way. This way of thinking can be extended to the direst situations imaginable, as, regardless of where you go, the one thing that is always 100% under your control is your ability to make choices.
"Erase the false impressions from your mind by constantly saying to yourself, I have it in my soul to keep out any evil, desire or any kind of disturbance — instead, seeing the true nature of things, I will give them only their due. Always remember this power that nature gave you." – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 8.29
Exercise: In Sanskrit, mantra means "sacred message". This can be used to remind oneself of truth if they feel unbalanced during a testing time. However, there is a saying "an action is worth a thousand words". Next time you feel overwhelmed or in need of peace of mind, put your hands together and bow wholeheartedly. Remain in this position for a few moments and see everything in union with each other. While bowing, be in total acceptance, reminding yourself that "it is so, it cannot be otherwise". Any feelings of rebellion, futility, fear, frustration, defeat, despair, hate or resentment are all self-created and do not serve us in any way. All these feelings, however, will evaporate with wholehearted acceptance of the situation, and your inner genius will start to flower in order to find a way out of the worry situation.
Takeaway: By evaluating and accepting the worst, we no longer have fear of what may happen as we are aware of what we are dealing with. This brings clarity, stillness and hope when things seem bleak. Instead of viewing the situation as having something to lose, we can now see the situation as having something to gain. This is a typical example of converting life's lemons into lemonade.
Omar Khayyám, a mathematician from Iran understood the futility of worry and focused his attention on what he could do instead of what he could not. In order to keep Omars perspective and not be overwhelmed by what was or what may be, I would like to leave you with his poem. Once we change our minds from one of fear to one of fight, we go from defeat to courage, from victim to ownership, and from being anxious to becoming excited.
The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám [1]
Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend,
Before we too into the Dust Descend;
Dust into Dust, and under Dust, to lie,
Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer and -- sans End!
"The aim of Self-Mastery is to endsure every individual on this earth realises they already have the tools to create the perfect life for themselves and a heaven here on earth. It is not the that education is only for the free, rather, those who are educated attain freedom." – Self-Mastery
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